Thursday, November 7, 2013

Poetry Break #5: ‘Caught in Cheshire’s wide whiskered grin, I, the fly, dive in’

The buzzing fly 
Around your sleepy head. 

A yawn 
That grows 
From a smile 
Into a chasm 
Waiting for me 
To dive in. 

She purrs 
And it sounds 
Like the whole world 
Is buzzing 
Around my sleepy head. 

Its waking up. 

I’m waking up 
to you. 

I’m diving in. 

Your eyes are the colour 
of the clear night sky 
And seas of midnight blue. 

That wash over me 
And pull me under 
The waves 

And pushes me 
Back up again 

I am born again 
With you. 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.......Wanna be my Catwoman?

So. The latest news coming out of Hollywood is that Chris Nolan has cast Anne Hathaway (ie the Hottie pictured here: ) for his upcoming 'The Dark Knight Rises' Batman flick due in 2012. I like Ms Hathaway. I think she's awesome. But to think: Princess Mia (from the Princess DIaries if you're male and single) as one of the most iconic comicbook anti-heroes? Has Chris Nolan finally jumped the shark?

Volumes have already been written in cyberspace as to just who in Hollywood should play 'The Cat' to Christian Bale's 'Bat'. Its a role desired by every woman under the age of forty. And it's been linked in the past few months to everyone from Rachel Wiesz to Meagan Fox. For my dough, I would have LOVED to see Ms Weisz slink around seductively a la Cat. But my expectations must be tempered by my not knowing just how exactly Director Nolan plans to reimagine and reinvent the character. Still, feel free to respond with YOUR CHOICES to play catwoman.

Surely, you'd recall the brilliant job that he and David Goyer did with the Joker (I refuse to even look at the Jack Nicholson version now). So, I'm just 'dying' to know what he has in mind this time around. Hathaway has built a career on 'safe' choices and her closest dalliances into the dark side would have been in Havoc, Brokeback Mountain and Rachel Getting Married - and with the exception of the latter, there is little evidence of the dramatic depth and breadth of a more seasoned actor. I have no doubt however that she'll look great in the costume - provided of course that Goyer / Nolan don't choose to go another way with Catwoman this time around.

Ahhhhh, the elusive woman in the leather suit. Not the easiest look to pull off mind you. But to some, the most seductive creature on earth. Hey, I'll be the first to admit that I still have dreams about Kate Beckinsale in Underworld - and I would pay to see her bedecked as Selene one more time if the studios insist. :) But for now, this blog intends to honour those very special women who have donned the suit in times past. Big shoes for Anne Hathaway to fill but certainly not a big suit.

  1. Julie Newmar (Batman - The TV Series c 1965)
For many of a past generation, Julie Newmar was the quintessential Catwoman. Not the most famous of celebrity names. And it certainly doesnt help when you have to compete with wooden acting and campy plot twists, but Julie baby, you sure knew how to work that suit!

2. Eartha Kitt (Batman - The TV Series c 1965)

As was often the case with episodic television in the sixties, actors were routinely replaced even in the case of an established character. Case in point - the change from Julie Newmar to Eartha Kitt in Season Three. Not only did actor change in this case, but so did her disposition towards the protagonist. (I suspect in order to avoid the scandal of a mixed race superhero couple.) Eartha Kitt may not have 'owned' the 'CatSuit' in the manner that Halle Berry would four decades later, but she certainly had the voice down pat! Her sexy purrrrring was certainly tailor-made for the character and created a new benchmark for pillow-talk for generations to come.

3. Lee Meriweather ( Batman - The Movie; 1966)

Batman got his first chance at the Box Office in 1966 and with it, much of the already established cast WITH THE EXCEPTION of Julie Newmar, who was unavailable, and was replaced by former Miss America, Lee Meriweather. Though she filled the suit and the part well, Ms Meriweather is often the most overlooked of the early Catwomen and due to her similar appearance is often mistaken with Julie Newmar.

4. Halle Berry (Catwoman; 2004)

As a movie, Catwoman called to mind two important questions: the first, how do you FUCK up a franchise as promising as this one especially when you have the beautiful Halle Berry headlining and the weight and support of the Warner machine behind it? And secondly, how HOT is Halle Berry? The movie may be an injustice to this Oscar winning actress - but she sure as hell does this costume Justice. Meeeeeoooow!

5. And the winner is.......Michelle Pfieffer (Batman Returns; 1992)

Admittedly, she played the part just a little bit grimier, darker, vulnerable and felinesque than the rest. But for me, Michelle Pfieffer is Catwoman. Whether she was licking Michael Keaton's batface or mending her home-made suit, she possessed an awkward sexiness that endears her even now. A damned sexy woman. And like Helen and the fall of Troy - the first Batman movie franchise couldnt quite recover after this.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

...And not the one called 'The One with the List'....

Everybody remembers that episode of Friends, 'The One with Frank Jr' (and not the one titled 'The One with the List' which was a completely different scenario) where the Friends each come up with their lists of those celebrities that they can get a 'free pass' with.

After some debate, Ross opts to 'bump' Isabella Rossellini from his 'Five' on the suggestion that she was 'too international' and therefore the odds of that 'situation' occurring were made even slimmer. Of course Ross does bump into Isabella Rossellini and we're left asking 'Would he have even stood a chance to begin with?'.

Thanks to her recent appearance in 'Dancing with the Stars', Shakira reminded me of all the reasons why she's been on my 'list' for the past five years. Seriously. The Other Half and myself have joked about this for years. And should Shakira call me tomorrow morning, I expect that she (the Other Half) would make good on her word and let me 'go' - no fault divorce and all.

Coincidentally, I had a 'Ross List' long before that Episode even aired. There were two lists in fact. And one was international. (The latter included such classic beauties as Catherine Deneveue, Isabel Adjani, Jacqueline Bisset and ironically, Isabella Rossellini.)

Of course times change. Tastes change. And People Change. So who's on my List now? Well, you asked for it. Here are my seven (yes, I'm allowed to put as many as I like!) - in virtual laminate.

7. Shakira

Quite possibly the most potent sexual force in the universe measuring under five feet, Shakira has for her Columbian Homeland, single handedly undone the decades of bad reputation built up by Pablo Escobar, the Medellin Cartel and the FARC. She makes you want to not just understand the Spanish language, but to compose long Neruda-esque poems odes to her
doe eyed beauty as well. She just makes me want to be a better man. Shakira has come a long way from being a Coumbian Rock-Star who occasionally shakes her hips and is now a full-fledged international phenomenon as well. Her hips don't lie. And neither does her ass. Or eyes, for that matter. As this video proves:

6. Charlize Theron

In the past few decades, South Africa has given us Nelson Mandela, Great Wines and Charlize Theron and it would be a push for anyone to explain why she shouldnt be named the country's number one export. The tall, graceful beauty is the only 'blonde' on my list. In part because I'm the kind of guy who fancies beautiful brunettes, but more importantly due to the fact that there are very few blondes who can begin to measure up on the Theron Scale. Ever since she first stepped out on to the screen in the much underated 'Two Days in the Valley', there have been few other blondes to capture my heart. And as the following clip proves, she really knows how to get the old heart pumping. :)

5. Kate Beckinsale

I still recall the first time that I really noticed Kate Beckinsale. It was in the Whit Stillman flick 'Last Days of Disco'. Her character was delicate, pretty, vulnerable and brutally honest to a fault. Not that good a first impression. And of course it wouldn't be long before she would capture my heart with her sweet-syruppy, fate-obsessed 'Sara' in 'Serendipity' and then grind me up aggressively against any of the four walls in my head wearing only her rubber jumpsuit from 'Underworld'. This English Rose is pure class and has the great ass to prove it.

4. Rachel Weisz

Its odd just how many Brits make my list. Perhaps its the accent. Or the playful nonchalance required to not-take-oneself-seriously. There is just something magical about British actresses. Take Rachel Weisz. Rachel Weisz is not your classic beauty - but God help me if she isnt the most attractive f#$king woman that I have EVER seen. But her dark eyes and 'mein' remind me of Tennyson automatically. And thankfully, the ring on my finger and stalking legislation keep me delicately tethered to earth. She makes me week in the knees and fills me with a desire to do nothing but stare, mouth ajar, and drool like a complete idiot. Thank you Rachel.

3. Jennifer Aniston

And speaking of 'Rachel's ........

An ironic choice, I know, given that she played Ross' soulmate for all those years on Friends. I mean 'How Cool is Rachel?' to give Ross such a 'bye' in the first place? Sure he didnt stand a chance with any of the names on his list (laminated or not), but she was the cool girlfriend that everybody wanted because of it. Jen lands on my list for two big reasons: The first is the fact that she probably has one of the best bodies in Hollywood. The Second: Because Brad Pitt is an idiot. There. I said it. I know I'm in the minority when I say this, but Angelina Jolie (pillowy lips and all) would never land on my list. And I for one, would never trade down from a Jennifer Aniston.
2. Penelope Cruz

How is it that I didnt notice you sooner? I remeber you as 'Luz' in La Belle Epoque, but I was too busy ogling your sisters to notice the potential in such an awkward looking young woman. Even years later when you came to America and starred in films like Woman on Top, Gothika, and Vanilla Sky - I have to admit that I really wasnt that impressed. But not so now. Truly the duckling has become a swan, and like a fine wine you keep getting better with age. You are my Iberian Goddess.

1. Elizabeth Hurley

I should have qualified my list up front by explaining that there is nothing scientific in it. Neither are the selections placed in any real and lasting order. All women are beautiful in their own unique way. There must be some scientific rationale to explain why the human heart accelerates at the sight of a certain look or the sound of a certain laugh or voice. A glance through 'my list' and one wonders if there is a type that can be distilled as being unique to me. Brunettes, perhaps? Self-deprecation? Great stems? Accents? Perhaps the last stands out more than the others with this group as there are three brits in my seven. And two latinas with very pronounced accents. As a teenager, I was in love with the French accent or more specifically, of a french woman speaking english. Strange, I know. But heck I wanted to get married to Kate Bush's voice too! But if there was any one voice that I can point to on this list that would get me all RCA Victor every time, its probably Elizabeth Hurley's.

Liz Hurley is yet another of these women who defies the laws of nature and continues to grow old (scratch that) grows better with each coming year. Amazing voice aside, the Hurley-bird looks amazing in a bikini. For that matter, she looks amazing in a sack cloth as well. And thanks to her starring turn in 'Bedazzled' she has made Catholic-guilt irrelevant to an entire generation who will go to sleep tonight believing that the Devil looks like a supermodel. What a sinful delight!

That's my Seven. So, tell me. Who's on Your Ross List?

Monday, November 1, 2010

2 Guys, A Girl and A Pizza: Sunnyboy, Dumplin and Poochie are looking for a home.

A friend of a friend is looking for permanent homes for three adorable dogs that she has been boarding. Unfortunately, circumstances will not allow for them to be permanent parents. I would love to help the situation out and I am only asking that you share these details with anyone who might have the room in their heart to adopt.

Sunny Boy was found on the flyover into Port of Spain byBhagwansingh's Hardware. He was sitting there with no shade for a couple of days with only a puddle of water to drink from. That was two months ago. Since then he has been rehabilitated and is turning into quite a watchdog.

Dumplin was found by the side of the highway down south, and was only discovered as a result of her cries from a patch of sugarcane. She's a chubby little girl, thereforethe name. She's about 4 months old and has large paws.

Poochie is the newest addition to the pack and he was found on the PBR and is proving to be quite the character.

All three dogs can be adopted separately. And they have all received their first shots and their worming. Just e-mail me at if you're interested.

Save a Life. Save your Soul.


Sunday, October 31, 2010

Eeeeeeek!!!!! Seven Creepy Music Videos (Just in time for Halloween)

So, Halloweeen's got me thinking: What are the scariest music videos of all time? When all the universe sent back in return was the sound of crickets, I was struck with the realization that in spite of the popularity of both music video and horror movies as visual genres on their own, and in spite of the fertle breeding ground bewteen the two - the instance in which Music and the Macabre have made sweet love together has been few and far between.

We have of course had any number of videos that either drew from the cultural touchstones (Eddie Money's 'I think I'm in Love' and 'Doing it all for my baby' by Huey Lewis & the News come to mind, see here ) or are music videos for scary movies that arent in themselves scary to begin with. :P Music has sought to make the horror movie genre its bitch. And at times it has irreverently tried to satirize and caricature, and make light of the dark side. The result has been that the pop mainstream has been spared the bleeding reality of someone like Ozzy or even Marilyn Manson reaching their fullest visual potential.

So in spite of the fact that Rob Zombie has become a Movie Director in his own right, there has still been a surprising deficit of scary and / or startling and / or creepy music videos. In fact its been somewhat of a wasteland.

So until such a time when Freddy can throughly gouge out the eyes and skullf#$k pop-music, we're just going to have to make do with the following coutdown of the Seven Creepiest Music Videos:

7. Nine Inch Nails "Closer"

Several of the videos on this countdown have the built-in advantage of sounding insidious, dark and brooding. Much of the NIN catalog would be at home being used in the soundtrack for a horror movie. In fact much of this particular video plays like a series of experiments gone wrong. And even though there is no apparent threat. No copious amounts of blood and gore to drive the message home, this is still a very provocative clip and song. Even now. And if you dont believe me, I dare you to turn the lights down, watch this video and say Trent Resnor's name in the mirror three times. You know what I'm talking about.

6. Swans "Love of Life"

In spite of the fact that many of the images (repeated ad nauseum) in this clip are religious in nature, this song admittedly creeped me out a bit back in the 90s. Must have been the style and delivery of the track itself. That and the fact that I never quite got the image of the bunny setting itself alight. WTF!?

5. Rob Zombie "Dragula"

Rob Zombie has made the 'successful' transition from creepy music to film-maker, with such movies as 'House of 1000 corpses' and 'Devil's Rejects' under his belt. His videos have run the gamut from weird and repressed to downright laughable. This particular video is a great mix of classic horror footage as well as his own twisted mind. If this doesnt convince you, try watching his vid for 'Living Dead Girl' ( ) or even 'Return of the Phantom Stranger'. So strange indeed. But having seen his movies, I am driven to ask - 'In the Absence of a Rating System for Music Videos, has the apparent 'censorship' and careful administration of themes and images been a concious effort to self-police and self-regulate?

4. Prodigy "Breathe"

Is there much needs to be said about these sneering British Latter day lost boys. Their menacing is much more Kubrick's Droogs (a la Clockwork Orange) than anything to do with vampires, werewolves and ghosts. But truth be told, I'd have more of a hard time meeting up with one of these guys down a dark alley than something more conventional. At the least, this might just move you to dance as well.

3. Tool "Stinkfist"

Any description of this video is certain to sell it far short of its mark. The only thing as distinctive as Tool's sound is their body of music videos. Strange, but I havent got a clue what any of the members of Tool look like. I just hope that they arent any of the pseudo-cadavers in this vid.

2. Marilyn Manson "Beautiful People"

There is certainly no shortage of provocative videos from the Godfather of Shock Rock. Marilym Manson certainly prided himself on being different, controversial and almost anti.....everything. He's not too far removed from Madonna in so much that he has wielded religion and social norms in much the same way that 'madge' flaunted her sexuality for fifteen years. Once again, there are elements here that are both strange and symbolic - and in the end, just downright creepy.

1. Aphex Twin "Come to Daddy"

This is probably the 'Daddy' of creepy music videos. In the years since I first saw this (in a time long ago when MTV still showed music videos well into Prime Time) the imagery and the dark sinister music have stuck with me. Is it any wonder that it features at the top of this impromptu tribute. I can hardly imagine anyone - let alone - MTV running a clip as macabre as this anytime soon. If you click on just one clip in this countdown let this be the one - but dont do so too close to your bedtime. The images will stick with you and haunt the dark recesses of your mind.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Not with a 'BANG' but a whimper......Remembering Tropical Storm Tomas

There is little left to be said. A patch of bad weather immediately to the East of the Island has disrupted commerce, created mass panic and once again shown up the incompetence of an entire government. And even though the most amateur of meterologists (ie ME) could have forecast the insignificance of the event, the people of this 'Mango' Republic have somehow conspired to make a long weekend out of this.

The most frustrating thing of course has been the apparent lack of up-to-date information and the general lack of a plan. Without even as much as a drizzle, the Government took the decision to shut down offices at midday and to dismiss schools throughout the entire country. The immediate result: well over one hundred thousand Public Sector workers and students jostling for a way home. *Cue the traffic jams*

Personally, I had the unfortunate pleasure of being in transit as it unfolded. And a drive which should have taken less than five minutes in flowing traffic - robbed me of an hour and fifteen minutes of my life and left me with a new pain in my ass.

It now appears that as a nation, we are prone to mass panic attacks or that we are now open to any suggestion that would lead to the curtailing of work hours. It would have been curious to check on the status of the limers on the 'Avenue' this past evening. I am almost certain that they were out in force, in their rank and file - drinks in hand - toasting Tropical Storm Tomas as it veered past us and headed towards our neighbours to the North.

Much unlike the police, the military and the emergency services of this country who still remain clueless as to how they ought to act in any situation of public urgency. If they were out conducting traffic, patroling the streets and evacuating the cities - I certainly saw no evidence of it.

At least with Bimshire in its sights, Tomas has now found a more equally matched adversary. Barbados being a more orderly country - they would obviously be better prepared for an event such as a Tropical Cyclone. I will say a pray for them nevertheless, as this has not been the kindest of weeks for them. Fare thee well Bimshire. You will survive this too. And show remarkable composure in so doing.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Thanks to GQ I'm going to have to re-evaluate my position on watching 'Glee'

So, Ok. Lets face facts. I'm a hetero - so the chances of me being a regular watcher of the Fox Television Series 'Glee' are slim to none. From the little that I have watched of the show, I can only opine that sixty minutes of relative 'nobodys' singing covers of old pop-songs is about as compelling as watching karaoke from the back of a crowded smoke-filled lounge in Hong Kong. To me 'Glee' is all filler and no meat.

Now enter GQ. Intent as always to win hearts and minds - and to change the course of pop-culture one month at a time. I long ditched GQ in favour magazines that had loftier pretensions (thats you Esquire). And for me its relevance in all things pop-culture has long been eclipsed. Until now.

I have presented above, exhibits one through six that together prove me wrong. In the first instance, on the question of its (GQ's) relevance. And in the latter, on the subject of 'Glee'.

Based on the evidence, I must admit to the errors of my ways. And though, I am not naive enough to believe that either Ms Michelle or Ms Agron will ever be featured in character in such sexual charged poses on the show that has now made them famous - these photos have gone a long way to making me a fan of theirs and perhaps even by extension, a fan of 'Glee'.

For all the wrong reasons. Yes, perhaps. But for tonight, Glee has been rescued from the 'dustbin' in my mind - at least until such a time that the redundancy and absurdity washes these images from my mind.

Damn you GQ! But, Hello there, Glee Girls.