Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Lindsay goes to Summer Camp. (And by Summer Camp I mean, Prison).

So unless you live under a rock, you've probably heard by now that Lindsay Lohan has been brutally mistreated by the justice system (READ: they have finally had enough of her bull$h!t) and has been sentenced to ninety days in prison for violating the terms of her probation. Now, one need not have been a psychic or an octopus to have seen this one coming from a mile away. She had been crusin for this bruisin for quite some time.

After years of bad parenting, bad relatiionships and bad career advice Lindsay's star has certainly dimmed to just a fraction of what it had been when she was a teenager (READ: easier to manage). Surely it is now patently obvious that her problems require a much more serious intervention than Prison can reasonably offer. 90 days can either seem like an eternity for someone like LiLo or it could be a night out. Either way, the t-shirts have been printed (see below courtesy of and it will be remembered.

In fact, if I hadnt known better (and mind you I dont really but I am assuming from the sobs and tears in court yesterday) - if I hadn't known better, I would have thought that this latest twist in LiLo's life has been carefully orchestrated not to bring her the notoriety, fortune or emotional support that would be craved by another more normal individual - but instead to bring Lindsay into a close and regular supply of butch carpet munchers, illegal drugs and alcohol - all of which will be in ready, unfettered and unmonitored supply in lock-up.

So, ninety days in Prison will for Lindsay be nothing more than Summer Camp. Hopefully the experience does not serve to fuck her up more than she already is FUCKED UP. But am I the only who sees this whole thing as being a bit messed up in that why didnt they schedule the 90 days in Rehab so that it occurs BEFORE she gets sent up river?

And the timing could either be seen as being a blessing or a curse in that Lindsay is scheduled to star in a film about porn actress Linda Lovelace starting this September. A turn which could just get her career back on track or based on the career missteps of the past five years, it could have turned out to be a 'pathway drug' that would have taken her to actually charging for baring her breasts and making some real money every time she allegedly went down on someone in a Nightclub Bathroom for coke.

In the end, its hard to feel true sympathy for Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay is yet another in a line of self-absorbed, over-indulged meal-tickets who appear to be unaware of the consequences of their actions let alone their responsibilty for them. Even at sentencing yesterday, Lindsay made the unwise decision to wear the customized manicure job shown above. No doubt intended to be some rebellious show of defiance to the 'man' or the 'system' or whatever it is that people like her refer to it nowadays. But at the end of the day, I think we can all agree to be part of the big communal 'FUCK YOU BACK!' that was deserved and dispensed yesterday in that Los Angeles courtroom in the hope that perhaps this time it will mark the beginning of some lasting, irrefutable change in Miss Lohan's life.

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