Tuesday, July 6, 2010

One way or the other, this Sunday the Dutch are going to choke cum Sunday.

I, for one, am not too certain as to when the line was crossed - but it has become patently obvious that at least as far as this current edition of the World Cup is concerned, sport and sex DO mix. Be it the early concerns that pre-game day sexcapades affected the performance of some of the tournament's would be stars (such a the Spanish Goalkeeper Iker Casillas) or perhaps even the effect that the lack of physical contact with the infamous WAGs might have had on England's hopes in South Africa - sex has had its fair share of bylines in World Cup 2010.

Even before they had arrived in South Africa, the Lions had been thrown into tumult over allegations that their captain, John Terry, had had relations with the girlfriend of one of his team-mates (Wayne Bridge). Terry was subsequently stripped of his armband and on the basis of their performance, the team of its teeth long before the embarrassment of their one-all opening tie with the United States.

On the latter subject, there were allegations that England goalkeeper Robert Green's 'howling' error that gave the americans a share of the points that day may have been the result of what we in Trinidad would term a 'tabanca' - a love sickness due to his relationship problems with Elizabeth Minnett (yet another model). Hey, my problem with this trend is simple: when did the love lives of the English footballers start to be more exciting than the game that they played?

Both Diego Maradona and Carlos Dunga both admitted the need for their charges to express themselves in the bedroom in order to insure the best of their creativity on the field. And surely, they were not alone in their 'soft' stance when it came to their players' sex lives continuing unabated.

Added to this, the reports of the record numbers of 'sex-workers' reportedly coming into South Africa for the tournament. And now the most amusing trend of all: promises by random persons to perform some sort of socially unacceptable act should their team win the world cup. A trend, which oddly enough was started by no less a figure than Diego Maradona who promised to run through the streets of Buenos Aires naked if Argentina brought home the cup. Gratefully, the soccer gods ignored that wager and Maradona returned home fully clothed.

Since Maradona however there have been international reports of other persons including Paraguayan lingerie model Larissa Riquelme promising to run through the streets of Asuncion naked should her beloved team be the winner. Judging from some of the Photographs of Miss Riquelme on the internet however, she is not promising to expose anything that anyone in the world with a dial-up connection can already see. Not that I'm complaining mind you, but one would expect that you'd want to promise something quite out of the ordinary when you're making these deals with God.

And now to the news item that has brought me to my log at two in the morning: in celebration of the Netherlands Semi-Final victory on Tuesday, Bobbi Eden, a Dutch porn actress, has promised blow-jobs to all of her followers on Twitter. Immediately, her pool of followers has grown by fifty percent to eight thousand strong and one expects that as this story makes its way around the world, that that number would grow exponentially between now and the Final on Sunday - provided of course that football fans can put down the pint and stop talking about this World Cup long enough to figure out just how one goes about 'following' someone on Twitter.

Personally, I'm going to take a pass on Bobbi's offer - not that its not an attractive one and certainly not because Bobbi and her band of merry 'bobbers' are unattractive - because they appear to be quite so. Instead my apprehension has everything to do with the fact that I have no intention of being anyone's sloppy seconds let alone seven thousandths! In any event, it would appear that this Sunday, either the Dutch team (which already has a long history of crumbling under the weight of expectation) or the Dutch Women are going to CHOKE. And I for one have no intention of being the victim of either gag reflex.

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